A Blog Mainly About Food

If by "mainly" you mean "sometimes"

Thursday, June 02, 2005

What Lies Beneath the Broccoli

Today I saw... things. Things man should not see. Vegetables of a consistency closer to a thin jelly. What once was onions. Evidence of an aborted attempt for sage and tomatos to mate and unleash their demon spawn on the Earth. Mayonnaise that predates cameraphones. The remnants of meals that never were, menus half completed, overzealous purchases of produce, of cheese. Nose clenched and stomach steeled, I cleaned out my refrigerator of food from eight different roommates over two years...

How nice it would be to use this to transition into some sort of nostaligic reverie. "This peanut butter reminds me of the time..." Nope. All I can think is how nice it is to clean out that damn fridge and how I go overboard on the fresh herb purchasing. Oh and how I wish past roommate were a tad more responsible. Seriously: I remember when roommate 1 went on an organic peanut butter kick. That was September 2003 dude. Seriously. You moved out how long ago?

Of course, I also found said roommates extensive collection of over-the-counter generic weightloss pills. You know, Stacker-2 but cheaper. Around 9 unopened containers of things called "Z-Tetrahydro Beta Max, now with Gumgumguru!" or something. Were I more enterprising and in possession of some basic chemistry knowledge, I would have saved these containers to jump start my long dreamed of home drug lab. Unfortunately, in my zeal to purge home of all non-essential (or cool looking) material objects, the pills went straight into the trash. Damn. Guess I'll just have to keep searching for that third income stream.