A Blog Mainly About Food

If by "mainly" you mean "sometimes"

Monday, April 25, 2005

Laptop Messiah

My trusty old laptop, drunk that it is, appeared to die Friday night. The death was sudden and unexpected, and saddened me deeply. All efforts were made to keep it alive, including last-ditch measures like wiping the hard drive clean. But efforts were fruitless and at approximately 7:30 PM Friday, 4/22, my laptop passed into the great digital unknown.

During a routine inspection of the corpse performed at 10 AM Saturday the 23rd, it was revealed that the patient had not died but had slipped into a sort of coma. The machine showed evidence of autonomic function but no higher-level processing, but the hope was that the condition was temporary. The patient's condition was upgraded to "alive."

At approximately 4 P.M. Saturday the 23rd, the laptop returned fully conscious to the world of the living. Unfortunately it appears the subject suffered complete memory loss; this situation is now being treated with internet therapy. Immediate concerns include eliminating the instinct to use "Internet Explorer" for outside communication in favor of "Fire-Fox" and providing "WinAmp" for musical expression.

The resurrection of laptop seems something of a miracle. I was already well on my way to worshiping the God of Silicon Chips, and this has pushed me all the closer.

Our Blogger, who art in Internet,
hallowed be thy URL.
Thy Comments come,
thy posts be done,
on Mainstream Media as it is in Internets
Give us this day our RSS feed.
And forgive us our comment spam,
as we blacklist those who spam against us.
And lead us not into anonymous comments,
but link us from Fark.
For thine is the Web, the Java and the Google.
For ever and ever.
Amen.